Can You Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd?

Roger Miller told us, you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd. But can you really?

Well, let's dive into this wild and wacky question to see if it's possible or just plain absurd!

Buffalo Herd Basics

First things first, let's talk about buffalo herds. Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume Mr. Miller was referring to the American Bison and not the more domesticated and docile Asian and African buffaloes. These majestic creatures are known for their strength, size, and wildly unpredictable nature. Fluffy cows with Rasputin beards roaming the plains in search of food and water, creating a powerful and awe-inspiring sight.

Roller Skating Dreams

Now, imagine yourself on a pair of roller skates, that effortless glide, the wind brushing past your face, the rhythmic sound of the wheels kissing the pavement, krrsh, krrsh, krrsh, the curious stares of grunting buffalo...

Reality Check

As much as roller skating in a buffalo herd sounds like a grand adventure, it's important to remember that safety comes first. Bison are wild animals and should be respected from a distance. Unless you're protected by the steel cage of a vehicle, your mushy meat encased organs have to be a distance of like 100 feet, that's the distance of two buses, not short buses, but the long, full-sized yellow school buses, parked front to back, not side to side. I'm talking a hundred feet away. Attempting to skate among them could lead to a dangerous situation for both you and the "buffalo". When that beast launches you in the air like a rag doll, it may very well pull a muscle in its massive neck. 

Alternative Roller Skating Locations

If you're itching to lace up your skates and hit the road, there are plenty of safer and more suitable locations to show off your Xanadu skills. Head to a local skate park, a smooth boardwalk, or even a retro roller rink for a fun and safe experience.

Alternative Bison Viewing Locations

Everyone knows and loves Yellowstone National Park, but did you know that you can also see them in Badlands N.P., Theodore Roosevelt N.P., and Wind Cave N.P.

I will let you in on a secret though. The best place for bison gazing is at Custer State Park in Custer, South Dakota. There is a wildlife loop road that is a couple hour drive and I have never NOT spotted huge herds of these lumbering beasts while traveling down it. In fact, you will likely have to stop in a traffic jam as they cross the road by the hundreds.

Final Verdict

So, can you roller skate in a buffalo herd? While the idea may be entertaining, it's best to leave the bison to their grazing and find a more suitable spot for your roller skating adventures. Better yet, knuckle down, buckle down, and hop into the safety of your car and view them up close and personal at Custer State Park. Get the Ya Herd? shirt, if you want to look cool while you do it, do it, do it.